In Which the Fourth Wall Implodes
by Azari v. 2.0
Summary: AU: On his way through the darkness he thought about that Alex kid, just one of thousands of hopeless fans whose emotions were fucked with enough they would succumb to the darkness. Of course, the Kingdom Hearts franchise was created solely for that purpose. *One-shot*


**All of the Moogle names were thought of by me. Explanation at the bottom.**

* * *

A glowing screen illuminated the darkened bedroom as _Simple and Clean_ blasted on max-volume from a pair of headphones. The song was so loud that it seeped out of the headphones and could be heard by anyone walking into the room at the moment...if everyone else in the house hadn't been asleep.

The 3DS XL fell from motionless fingers, taking the headphones with it, and the wearer stared in shock at the screen that was now rolling credits. The title "Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance" shone on the top screen along with a cute little Flowbermeow running across the screen. Oddly enough, the adorable graphic wasn't enough to shake the teenager, named Alex, out of it.

"Wh-What...? That...that can't be the end!" he eventually said, staring in horror as the credits continued rolling, the music blaring loudly from the headphones, "What about...in the Tower...and...and...the _Organization_ and what about Hollow..._what_?!"

Unable to think coherently, Alex sat back and watched the credits continue to go by until it finally went back to the main menu. He sat open-mouthed and eventually snapped up the 3DS, ripping the headphones out. He started up a new game, staring defiantly at the screen until the cutscenes loaded.

"Wait, no, _bad_!" he shouted, staring in horror as his favorite character's Other glared at the camera. Alex hastily snapped the device closed and jumped out of bed, pacing.

"No no no, I can't play it again, I can't watch it again, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't start crying _ten seconds in_!" he told himself, his voice rising in pitch as he was close to hysterics.

"But...but _Xemnas_...I don't understand, did I miss something?!" Alex wondered aloud. He attempted to say the name again but his voice broke into something between a strangled hiss and frantic muttering halfway through. He turned the implications of the game's end over in his mind, more specifically the implications implying what he didn't want them to imply about his favorite character!

"Square Enix is evil. I swear by Xemnas' zebra coat, they are evil. Nomura is a dick," Alex muttered, "Leaving an ending like _that_...with an information dump like _that_..."

His chocolate brown eyes suddenly lit up with fear and he paced his room faster, nervously wringing his hands. "Oh, oh, oh...why. _Why_. _Why_."

"That's...so...not...cool!" Alex exclaimed, holding his hands to his face and blinking back tears. _Oh whatever divine being I pray to, why?!_

"Oh my...Axel and Saïx and _Xigbar_ and what about Radiant Garden what happened to them _there_?! Kingdom Hearts III _please_ be released soon..."

Alex spent the rest of the night pacing nervously and muttering to himself, occasionally slipping into moments of escapism as he played out the part of his imaginary OC dealing with the cataclysmic events of Dream Drop Distance. However, all the flights of fancy in the world couldn't save him from looking up all of his favorite Organization XIII-central cutscenes and eventually dissolving into a puddle of bitter tears of empathy and frustration. He couldn't help all these _feelings_ and these _feelings_ would be the death of him.

* * *

"Aaand...those feelings were the death of him."

A very satisfied voice sighed as its owner spun around on the swivel desk chair and stood up, stretching black-clad arms above a ponytailed head. Xigbar grinned and looked over his shoulder at the monitor set up in a certain Alex J.'s bedroom. The boy in Florida, whom Organization XIII had been working on for six years, had finally broken. Already, Xigbar could see the boy's heart float out of him and up into oblivion, leaving the sixteen-year-old body to disappear into nothingness. Sure, the parents would be confused as hell the following morning and would probably call the police, panic when they couldn't find him, and then fall into a depression wondering _what did they do wrong_, but...well, that was business.

"More hearts for us!" Xigbar laughed, abandoning the monitor to summon a portal. On his way through the darkness he thought about that Alex kid, just one of thousands of hopeless fans whose emotions were fucked with enough they would succumb to the darkness. Of course, the Kingdom Hearts franchise was created _solely_ for that purpose.

"Hey guess what, Scarface?" Xigbar drawled as he stepped out of the portal into the Grey Area, right next to Saïx, "We finally got him."

"Got who?" Saïx asked, "We suck the emotions out of teenaged brats every day, Number II. If you want any of their demises to leave an impression on me, you'll have to be specific."

"That Florida kid with the anagrammed Axel name and the unhealthy obsession with me. Just got his heart," Xigbar said, grinning wickedly.

"Ah. That one took long enough. What 'got' him, as you so eloquently put it?" Saïx asked, pulling a pen out so he could write it down.

"Basically everything from the later half of DDD," Xigbar reported. "Kid felt sorry for me. Ha. He also had a conniption when he saw the...well you know."

"Mm...that revelation seems to be causing a lot of the deaths of the fanbrats. Either the emotional distress the game causes or the utter rabid _excitement_ they experience from certain events overpower their weak little hearts. This is almost _too_ easy," Saïx sneered.

"Well, hey, I just got a twenty-year-old in Britain!" Demyx piped up, popping into the Grey Area through another portal. "Oddly enough it wasn't the one that used to dress up like me, or any of her friends. Weird. Wonder where they went?"

"Ah, that doesn't matter. Older people are harder to get anyways," Xigbar said, waving his hand dismissively.

"Hm. You two, I need you to deliver a message to the other members," Saïx suddenly said, "The Superior will be holding a meeting tomorrow morning to discuss plans for the final game in this arc. Kingdom Hearts 1.5: Final Mix has sufficiently placated the more stubborn fans, but its effect will wear off eventually and they will need more cause to cry their hearts out. Make sure Vexen, Lexaeus, and Zexion are there, and call the film Moogles there as well."

"Yessir!" Demyx said, hopping another portal. "While I'm doing that I can compare hits with the others! Fifteen fan hearts taken today, hey-ya!"

"I already beat you out, Dem," Xigbar snorted, following him into the portal. "Twenty hearts."

"What?! Aw, not fair!"

On-camera, the Castle That Never Was was reasonably modern and hi-tech, save for the lack of TVs and a coffee machine. Off-camera, however, was a different story.

Made rich off the sales of their elaborate video game, the Nobodies of Organization XIII lived life like kings (and queens, in Larxene, Naminé, and Xion's case). The Nobodies tended to gather in a lounge a floor under the Grey Area, where there was a flat-screen HD TV, a stereo system, a snack bar, and a little collection of computers for the constant monitoring of the fanbrats.

Such was the case when Demyx and Xigbar stepped out of their portal into the lounge. Axel was reading something on one of the computers, Roxas hovering over him, while Marluxia stood above another computer, looking ready to kill something. On the couch sat Naminé and Xion, the former working on some paper thing and the latter watching television.

"Ugh, that is disgusting!" Axel exclaimed loudly. Demyx went over to him and bent over his desk chair, peering at the screen.

"Oh man, another AkuRoku fic?" he asked, grimacing. Roxas nodded and gritted his teeth slightly, looking extremely pissed off.

"They just get worse and worse! Here I thought that they were finally getting some sense, but nooo..." Axel complained, getting off the page. "You know, _some_ fanfics on there are pretty well written but at least 85% of them are bad as fuck, or, you know, are _about_ that."

"I think you're too nice, which is disturbing," Marluxia commented. "I don't think _any_ of this drivel is worth reading."

"Well, what's worse? The fanfics or the fanart?" Demyx asked.

"Fanfics," the other three Nobodies said.

"When _you_ are written as a homosexual _pansy_ with glitter, rainbows, and a spine deficiency every other fic, you come and let me know," Marluxia said bitterly.

"Well, _I'm_ always characterized as a brainless toddler in a teen's body but you don't hear me complain," Demyx pointed out.

"How about when you're written as doing your best friend up the ass in hundreds of AkuRoku slashfics?" Axel challenged.

"It's _your fault_ with that entire 'he made me feel like I had a heart' spiel," Roxas pointed out.

Axel threw up his arms in exasperation, "The writers didn't think it through! They told me to improvise, so I played up the drama of the moment! Blame the Moogles!"

"I'm starting to think we should fire the writing Moogles, to be honest," Demyx said, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. "That whole 'We do too have hearts, don't be mad!' thing I did has the fans completely messing up the logic behind Nobodies and their existences."

"Tell me about it. Like I said, _hundreds of slashfics."_

"Well, at least the fanart is good!" Demyx said.

"Not good enough to forgive them for completely destroying my character," Marluxia sighed.

"Hey kids, playing nicely with the fanbrats?" Xigbar asked, strolling over. "Did Dem tell you yet? The Superior is holding a meeting tomorrow morning to toss around ideas for the last game."

"What, the fans are _already_ demanding that?" Roxas asked, "Are they not satisfied with 1.5?"

"As if. With half the Organization dead or...well, you know, and that surprise ending we gave them in DDD? Dude, the fanbrats are practically kicking down our proverbial door for the last chapter," Xigbar said. "Oh by the way, I've got twenty fanbrat hearts today. How are you slackers doing?"

"I never slack," Axel snorted. "Twenty-four."

"You're slacking now, Axel. I've got twenty-six," Roxas grinned.

"Eighteen," Marluxia said stiffly. "They're dropping like flies."

"Well, you know flies. They never seem to die out completely, as there's _always_ at least one left," Xigbar said.

Marluxia shut off the computer he was working at and cracked his neck, working out the cramps in his muscles before he left the lounge. Demyx straightened up and stretched, wandering over to Naminé and Xion.

"Hey Naminé!" the Nocturne said cheerfully, "What're you doing?"

"Oh! Hi, Demyx. I'm trying out something Xion and I found," the witch said. "It's called 'papercraft.' Look, you just fold and glue the paper down in the right places and they make little dolls."

She held up a finished papercraft doll for him to scrutinize. It was a childlike depiction of Zexion, complete with overhanging bangs and a little Lexicon stuck into its hand. It was in, ahh, what was that style called...?

"...this is Chibi, right?" Demyx asked, turning the doll over in his hand.

"Right! I don't like calling it that, though," Naminé admitted. "I just call them dolls."

"Well, it's not nearly as weird as cosplay is," Demyx laughed, giving the doll back.

"Oh, I know..." Xion said, looking up at him. Xion's appearance was, in fact, black-haired and blue-eyed and everyone saw her like that. It took some truly mind-boggling computer-generated graphics (courtesy of one of the Moogles) to change Xion's face into Ven's in Days. Demyx considered this and grimaced slightly, having unpleasant memories from seeing the result on-screen.

"Cosplay is fun to look at, I suppose, but it's the whole _idea_ of it that bothers me," Xion was saying. "Dressing up like us? Making coats _exactly_ like ours? Finding _wigs_ like our hair? Our fans are really dedicated."

"I think they're just weird," Demyx said, "but hey, I won't stop their fun. I'll just wait for the feels to get them."

"Demyx please don't say 'feels' again," Naminé said quickly. "You're speaking fandom."

"Oops. Sorry," Demyx laughed.

"Exactly how many more hearts are we going to reap before Roxas and I go in to get rid of the Heartless these fans are making?" Xion asked.

"Oh, I think we're pretty close," Demyx said. "The Superior will probably give the call tomorrow at the production meeting."

"Do we even have to go to that?" Naminé asked, "Xion and I are kind of...dead, in canon."

"Aw, you're not dead. Besides, knowing the Superior he'll drag you both back in somehow. You know, _I_ have even _less_ business going, yet I'm going anyways," Demyx pointed out.

"I guess. Aren't you going to be helping Ka-Mog and Mogda with the filming, though?" Xion asked.

"Oh yeah...forgot," Demyx chuckled.

"Although, you might be pulled in for a mini-game," Naminé said thoughtfully. "Or a secret boss fight, like how Xemnas was in Kingdom Hearts I: Final Mix."

"And _why_ would I be a secret boss fight? I'm not exactly _central_ to the story line anymore. Not that I ever _was_," Demyx grumbled.

"Aww, well...look on the bright side!" Xion exclaimed, "Without you, where would the fans get their sweet and dorky rock star?"

"-to play bottom to the entire Organization?" Naminé cut in, giving a disturbingly innocent smile to the Nocturne.

"Whoa whoa whoa-not cool, Naminé!" Demyx said, reaching over the couch to ruffle her hair, smiling despite himself. "I'm straight as a yardstick and you know it!"

"_You_ know that," Naminé said, batting his hand away.

"And _I_ know that," Xion supplied.

"Yeah yeah yeah, I know," Demyx sighed.

"Ugh, well that's all I can take for one day." Axel's voice suddenly drew their attention. The Nobodies congregated around the couch turned to see the redhead getting up from the computer, pulling away from the device with a disgusted look on his face. Roxas elbowed Axel roughly in the stomach and stormed over to the couch.

"Get him away from me before I kill him," Roxas growled, seating himself beside Naminé.

"Oh, what happened now?" the witch asked, cringing.

"Two words. _AkuRokuShi lemon_,"Axel appeared on the scene and stood next to Demyx, wisely keeping out of arm's reach of Roxas.

"Oh, ew," Xion said, shuddering.

"Man, that's just not right," Demyx sighed. "I can see why Roxas tried to gut you with his bony little elbow."

"I'm not _that_ skinny!" Roxas protested.

"What _I_ want to know is, why aren't the authors of _those_ fanfics getting their hearts torn out of their chests? Preferably with a ton of screaming, pain, and crying?" Axel asked.

"One can never understand the inner machinations of the mind of the _Fangirlus rabidus_," Demyx joked.

"The author of that last one was a _guy_," Roxas deadpanned.

"_Fanboyus rabidus_, then."

"Well, I never wanted to know anyways...hey Roxas, if I buy you and Xion sea-salt ice cream for a week will you not be after my blood anymore?" Axel asked.

"Make it three weeks and you've got a deal," Roxas said.

Axel rolled his eyes and sighed. "Taking advantage of my kindness and bleeding me dry while you do it. You sir, are truly heartless."

Xion giggled and stood up. "Well, that ice cream sounds really good right now. Naminé, want to come with us?"

Naminé shook her head. "No, that's alright. I still have a few more dolls to make, so I'll stay here."

"Alright. Come on, Axel, you can start working off your debt right now!" Xion said cheerfully, opening a dark corridor. She headed through it and Axel made to follow when Roxas intercepted him, shooting the redhead an evil glare in passing. Axel pulled back and let Roxas through first, then grimaced and followed suit.

Demyx lingered in the lounge for a while, watching Naminé work on a papercraft doll of Xemnas before boredom struck and he wandered across the room to find someone else to hang out with.

* * *

"So...remind me again why we're here?" Zexion asked, turning to Vexen.

It was the morning of the Kingdom Hearts III production meeting, and Organization XIII and the Moogle staff had gathered in the Round Room. The Moogles hovered near the various thrones and two of them sat on either side of Xemnas. These were Chernamog and Mogkenzie, the heads of the Moogle staff. They had been chosen for their near-perfect English skills and the fact that they were respected the most of the Moogles. They, like all of the Moogles living in the Castle, were dressed in the standard Organization coat.

"Because of 'our' brief cameos in 3D," Vexen replied stiffly, shooing one of the camera Moogles away from his chair.

"Well, that explains us...but what about the others?" Zexion asked, "Such as Luxord, Marluxia, and Larxene?"

"We have been assigned to assist the Moogles," Luxord informed him, leaning forward from his chair a little bit to look at the Schemer.

"Yes. For example, I am now a part of set design," Marluxia said. "I believe Number X is a script writer, and Larxene is on special effects."

"I'm a camera man now!" Demyx piped up, resting his hands on his knees and leaning forward.

He shared a brief fist-pump with one of the camera Moogles, Ka-Mog, who bobbed his puff-ball excitedly and fluttered beside the Nocturne.

"Hmm," Vexen hummed, obviously unimpressed.

The minute hand on Luxord's watch ticked and Xemnas cleared his throat, bringing the idle buzz of chatter down. Chernamog sat on Xemnas' right armrest and looked around, making sure the gathered Moogles were settled.

"My friends, first I congratulate you all on another successful month of reaping the hearts of our misguided followers," Xemnas began. The Nobodies shared some evil smiles and Axel sat back, grinning to himself.

"This month, we have created over 500 Emblem Heartless. Numbers XIII and XIV, later today you will be assigned to begin collecting those hearts." He paused and looked over to the two best friends, who were playing some kind of clapping game together, their gloves muffling the sound to the point where there was none.

"One, two, three, four, five, six-oops! Sorry, Roxas!" Xion giggled, as she had accidentally smacked her friend in the chest. Roxas dropped his hands and laughed.

"We were doing so well, too. Oh, uh...Heartless? Yeah, we'll get it done," Roxas said, looking around at the gathered Nobodies. He glanced up at Xemnas, who was watching with his eyes narrowed, and grimaced. He turned back to Xion and started their game up again, quickly forgetting about the meeting.

Xemnas sighed and continued with his speech. "Anyways, yes, the time has come to begin discussing the final installment of this lucrative venture of ours. Kingdom Hearts 1.5 has pacified the fanbase thus far, but eventually the fervor will die down, and so will our supply of hearts."

"Superior, we've been holding this up for a long time now. How far away are we from actually completing Kingdom Hearts?" Lexaeus asked, curious.

"Not very far. I actually believe that during the production stage of Kingdom Hearts III, our Kingdom Hearts will be completed. If this is not the case, then the final installment of this series will spur us towards definitive victory," Xemnas said.

"That means we're that much closer to getting fired!" Xigbar laughed. "Oh, and getting our hearts back too, but that's another thing."

"But to do that, kupo, we're going to have to ensure that this last game is _perfect_," Chernamog stated. His little wings beat furiously and lifted him off of the chair, hovering above the armrest.

"Right, kupo! So let's start sharing ideas!" Mogkenzie exclaimed, joining her partner in the air. She turned to Xemnas, the edge of her coat fluttering slightly. "I hope you don't mind, kupo, but we would like to address the staff Moogles first."

Xemnas nodded and Chernamog hovered towards the void in the center of the room. Mogkenzie flew beside him and the two looked around, calling the attention of the others.

"First of all, kupos, you are going to be joined by someone from the Organization who will not be appearing in the game," Chernamog stated. "Ka-Mog and Mogda on the camera team will be joined by Demyx. Mozi and Nimo on special effects will be joined by Larxene. Marluxia will be joining Imog and Hibimo on set design. Luxord will be a writer with Mootan, Dizzymog, and Simo. Until we know for sure who will show in the game and who won't, those are all of the teams so far."

"Next order of business, kupos! New uniforms!" Mogkenzie exclaimed, "With all of the extra munny earned from the games, we've been able to design specific team uniforms using the material of the Organization coat! By this, I mean the technology that prevents you from slipping into darkness has been moved to the new uniforms. This was all thanks to Vexen, Zexion, and Lexaeus, of course."

She nodded in the scientists' direction and the Moogles sent up a cheer. Mogkenzie waited for the cheers to die down before adding, "Oh! And of course we made some larger ones for the Nobodies joining your teams. Xemnas-kupo has specifically instructed that these uniforms are to be worn _only_ during production of the game. So they can only be worn during production meetings, line rehearsals for cutscenes, and when we actually start making it. Um...that's all I have to say!"

Chernamog nodded, indicating he didn't need to say anything more as well. He and Mogkenzie flew back to Xemnas' throne, sitting back on his armrests. The meeting turned towards production ideas, battle ideas, new items for the Moogle shops, and would soon dissolve into a slightly megalomaniac conversation in which the Nobodies fantasize about a future where they have their hearts and can finally exact revenge on all of the surviving fans who paired them with each other.

* * *

**Basically, my over dramatized conspiracy theory regarding Kingdom Hearts. This is more or less what was running through my mind after Dream Drop Distance ripped my emotions out. OBVIOUSLY not to be taken seriously.**


End file.
